Loss is an unavoidable reality of life.  It causes us to change our perspectives, and adjust to whatever remains.  In the grief process, we become stronger, and are more appreciative of what we have.

A sudden and shocking loss has taken place in my life, and it has altered me as nothing else could have.  On a dreary Tuesday in June of 2001, my father, Daniel Jay, died after a short fight with liver cancer.  My uncle, in an evasive effort, took my two younger sisters and me to a movie.  Upon our return, my mother tearfully informed us of his passing.  I sat in absolute grief and woe, amid the poorly muffled cries and nearly unintelligible ‘whys’ of my remaining family.  Despite this and because of this tragedy, my life has taken on a whole new meaning from that day forward.

Dealing with the loss of a parent did not come easily, but it was something that I have accepted.  Fortunately, my friends and family were very generous and sensitive in helping me adjust.

In experiencing life in this new light, without a parent, I started holding a heightened sense of appreciation for everything around me.  This new outlook reemphasized the true value of family and the smaller things in life.  For instance, I have gained the responsibility of driving my sisters to and from their soccer activities.  Throughout the seasons, I find myself feeling closer to my sisters and understanding their daily routines and the rigors that are associated with them.

There is a direct correlation between my greater appreciation for the smaller things in life and what, in my father, lives on in me.  We both shared a tremendous love for music, cars, and the outdoors.  My parents always encouraged, and were a large part of my music and creative pulses.  I believe that this level of involvement directly relates to my current absence of musical motivation.  However, this is likely to return as I gradually move through the grief process. 

Both my Dad and I thought of cars as more than just a means of transport.  I retain this strong interest for everything related to automobiles and have incorporated it into my hobbies.  As for the outdoors, my family frequently went camping and sailing.  This love, in me, has translated to mountain biking.  The love of music, cars, and the outdoors are characteristics of my father that live on in me.

Obviously, the loss of my father has changed me dramatically.  Thankfully, my friends and remaining family were there to listen and help me adjust.  I am doing better, but the happy memories of my extraordinary father will always remain and remind me of what’s really important in life.